The Thing about Joy
“Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength”
Nehemiah 8:10
I was once told in a conversation that Nehemiah 8:10 was a way that someone thought of me. They told me for all they had witnessed me go through, that I remained Joyful, and that is what made me strong.
At the time, I felt like I understood part of the notion because I was, and actually still am, surviving through one of the hardest chapters of my life. So naturally, I thought about the opposite of this. I assumed they meant my ability to laugh, make sarcastic jokes, or to say kind words in the middle of trying to keep it all together. I thought that’s what they meant. Perhaps that’s why I mistook it for a compliment, as if it was some innate characteristic I had, when in reality, this person was simply making a keen observation about a choice, one of heavenly perspective.
I never associated myself with Joy. I actually never thought of myself as a particularly Joyful person, but that’s because I was banking on the wrong notion.
If you are anything like me, you may have understood Joy as a synonym for happiness.
When defined, happiness means, “a state of well-being and contentment”, or “a pleasurable or satisfying experience”. Actually, the word Joy is a synonym for happiness in the thesaurus. When people discuss the state of being happy, they are typically describing the state of pleasurable favor and contentment with present circumstance. I personally struggled with the idea of perpetual happiness because I’ve known life to throw very unseemly affairs, ones that make you question the depth of the word at all. Like how far-reaching is this really?
And no, I’m not walking around wearing all black or anything like that (although it’s the color I own the most of). I’m saying the word happiness and all that it entails is more temporal than it is accurate. And for this reason, I’ve struggled to use it to describe many dispositions or circumstances.
In my quest for ‘happiness’, I naturally ran across the word Joy, its synonym, or close cousin if you will. When I first approached the concept of Joy, I dressed it up in yellow with daffodils. But in reality, Joy may wear a deeper color, like violet or something statelier. Joy is related to happiness, yes, but has its own identity in of itself.
The characteristic of Joy for our purpose is “choosing to respond to external circumstances with inner contentment and satisfaction” (Christianity.com).
The second part of the definition is, “because we know that God will use these experiences to accomplish His work in and through our lives.”
Joy is different from happiness because there is a distinct purpose. There is a driver. And not that happiness or the pursuit of happiness is not purposeful, but I see something as mostly purposeful when it can stand alone and not be completely dependent upon something else. Happiness’ purpose is to be pleased while Joy’s is to stand anyhow.
I believe part of the reason why some of us have struggled to be happy is because we are actually Joyful.
Most of us have received some bad news, have had limited resources, have been let down, or completely discouraged - and yet - we trust God with it all and are expectant of Him. We are probably the same people that have been chided (or we may scold ourselves) for not appearing to fit the mold of ‘happy’ because we have the wrong phenotype.
We display understanding, but we may not always be exuberant. We are well-intended, but we may not be giddy. We offer ourselves sincerely, but it may not always be without struggle.
Being Joyful does not mean being happy. However, you can be happy about having Joy.
And I really hope that frees someone like it freed me. Not being able to check off the box of “completely happy” does not mean that you are not expecting God’s best for your life. What it does mean is concluding and accepting that all is well beyond comprehension. It means that you trust God and His person. It means you believe He’ll show up. It is not circumstantial.
Above all else, Joy is a person that God wants us to be. Joy is a fruit of the Spirit and I’ve always thought of having Joy as holding the characteristics of a very special friend that I aspire to be like. This is why I’ve capitalized her name throughout this post. I believe to be like Joy is to take on a new persona toward living that invites a higher outlook.
With this understanding, I hope that we can conclude being like Joy is our choice. When we often hear, “the enemy is trying to steal my joy”, we can now think, ‘if something or someone wants to steal Joy from me, it/they cannot, because Joy is part of me. They cannot take me away from me.’ The only way for anything to take Joy away is if I give them permission to and leave Joy on my own.
And even so, there are those situations that will challenge us to put our relationship with Joy aside. But choosing Joy is choosing us. Choosing Joy is choosing God.
Here are a few reasons why I plan to keep my relationship with Joy:
When I have nothing else, I still have Joy.
I promise, I promise, I promise - no one ever anticipates that they will be without the things that they feel are necessary. But isn’t it just like life to show us what we thought we needed, we really needed? Yes, you read that right. In other words, conditions of life will leave us in a position where we need things, people, or resources that may not be presently available to us. There is no reason to negate this reality because it gets real out there, okay? I’ve found while placed in this position, I am comforted in knowing there is something that connects me to God that cannot be taken away. And that is the expectation that somehow, I will be provided with what I need. That is having Joy.
When I’m discouraged, I still have Joy.
This sort of circumstance depicts when I’ve so strongly felt the person of Joy. The depth of any sadness can be jarring, and it can hinder our ability to look forward. This is when I feel Joy sitting beside me (in the most non-fluffy way possible) letting me know that I can still dwell on goodness even in the bad or the not-so-great. And the truth of the matter is feeling this way is completely human, but God desires for us to look forward with expectation and thanksgiving because Joy comes in the morning after any dark night. It won’t always be this way.
When I’ve made a mistake, I still have Joy.
Oh, you’re not perfect? Me either, actually. Whether this is news to you are not, and whether you are reminded of this fact often or even once per year, regardless, we are all immensely imperfect and in need of so much grace and mercy. After you’ve begged your pardon with God, asked for forgiveness from the person, and learned the hard lesson, there is still some space to build yourself up or to tear yourself down. Joy fits in perfectly here because we can rely on the understanding that God uses it all for His purpose, including our misinterpretations, misunderstandings, and mishaps. We always have the ability to learn.
When I must surrender, I still have Joy.
I’ll keep this one short and sweet. We don’t always get our way, and while that may not be completely detrimental for some, we might struggle with next steps after we’ve come to this conclusion. Surrendering can be scary because outside of tangibly having our way, changing our minds can be a God-sized-feat. In this moment, Joy lets me know that God has a plan, and I can expect Him to guide me and to hold my hand when my eyes are blindfolded.
When all is well, I have Joy.
I believe we’ve made a full circle in the happiness vs. Joy conversation. There are times in life where everything is everything. Believe it or not, one of these times is when we are emotionally happy that we have Joy. I know there have been times where I’ve thanked God and ugly cried for something I could not articulate. As years have gone by, I revisit the altars I’ve built where I’ve felt Him so strongly, especially in this place where I had no idea why I was thankful, but I knew I was praising Him for something deep inside of me.
I truly believe I was thanking Him for introducing me to Joy, and I’m so happy He did.